Texas Cheerleading Teen Sluts

The other day, I was listening to OUTQ radio on Sirirus Satellite Radio much like I do pretty much every time I'm driving somewhere. For the most part, the shows on OUTQ are frivolous, annoying, and hosted by pompous jackasses who seem to believe that they are somehow qualified to give advice and dispense judgements about the lives of their sad-ass callers (seriously, I have to change the channel because I get so embarrassed for some of the losers who call into radio shows!). However, I greatly enjoy Frank DeCaro and Doria Biddle because they're very funny, and Michangelo Signorile, while at times repetitive and annoying, makes some interesting points and actually challenges some of the bullshit that others say. Anyway, I was listening to some show the other day and there were some rather disparaging remarks made about Texas, and it pissed me off.

I grew up in West Texas, Odessa of Friday Night Lights fame to be specific. I've lived in Austin for over thirteen years having moved back to Texas after a 3 1/2 year stint in New York City. Both sides of my family have long histories in Texas, even if my mom was unfortunate enough to have been born in Oklahoma. I have two degrees from the University of Texas. My mister (as Michael Stipe says) is from West Texas and has a family history in Texas. I am a full-blooded, native Texan and proud of it. I am also gay, highly educated, and liberal. Yes, we do exist, and we're not that rare of a breed.

Growing up, I was taught to be proud of being a Texan; being from Texas meant that you were fiercely independent, strong, friendly, and not afraid to stand up for what you believed in. I was taught that I should be proud to don my cowboy boots and western belt, that my accent was a sign of greatness. We are descendants of cowboys, farmers, and roughnecks who have survived tough times. Hell, we're the only single state that was once an independent nation.

My parents were teens when I was born, so I spent a great deal of time being raised by my paternal grandparents. My grandfather was skinny, gristly man with a constant tan from painting houses who always wore starched shirts and pants and smelled of an odd combination of men's hairspray (never a hair out of place), cigarettes, coffee, and housepaint. I remember that he slept outside in his white boxer shorts on many a long, hot summer night. My grandmother, who turned 91 in December, is a fairly conservative and religious woman (Baptist), yet she let me dress up in her shoes and makeup, make dresses out of old curtains, and filled the role as my assistant chef/stagehand/lab assistant/guinea pig. She taught me that I could do whatever I wanted in life and that there wasn't anything that could stop me from fulfilling my dreams. Apparently, I told her at the age of five that I was going to live in New York City when I grew up and drive a Mercedes (what ambition!) and I've done both (I drive a hand-me-down, gold 1984 Mercedes-Benz sedan). She's still conservative and religious and we don't agree on everything (we once had an entire lunch in complete silence following my suggestion that she could take her medications every day if there was socialized medicine instead of spacing them out to last longer because she couldn't afford to buy more!). I was taught to fear God and live by strict morals but to pursue my dreams and be true to myself - this later became more difficult than anticipated.

So, I'm proud to be from Texas, and it pisses me off when I hear people, especially jackasses from the East Coast and California who have never even visited, talk shit about my state and make fun of those of us who are proud to call it home. Screw you. Without Texas, the world wouldn't have had the late Ann Richards and Molly Ivins, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, great music, Tex-Mex, Farah Fawcett, Beyonce, (did I mention that I'm gay?), a chainsaw massacre, a ruling that sodomy laws are unconstitutional, and the list goes on. On the other hand, there are a few things about Texas that can make it hard to feel proud at times. George Bush and Tom Delay are a couple of the first things that come to mind. And when it comes to sex, well...

It's illegal to sell and own dildos in Texas (more on this later). Our legislators recently attempted to pass a law banning "sexy cheerleading" in high schools - did I mention the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders? When the state board of education adopted new health textbooks for high schools a few years ago, they refused to include information about contraceptives and adopted books that advised getting enough rest, hanging out with the right people, and attending pray groups as methods to prevent teen pregnancy! Yeah. What the fuck, right? The only reason that the sodomy laws were declared unconstitutional is because two men were arrested because they were having sex in a private residence (more on this later, as well). If you live in Texas, don't play with yourself, don't have sex until your married, and whatever you do, don't have sex with someone of the same gender!

Well, we were just as shocked as the rest of the nation a few weeks ago when our fearless leader, Gov. Rick Perry, who has been surrounded by rumors about his own sexuality for years, signed an executive order requiring all girls entering sixth grade to be vaccinated against HPV, which would prevent 99% of all cases of cervical cancer, much to the dismay of his own party. He was obviously possessed, why else would he so blatantly be promoting premarital, teen promiscuity? Turns out that Gov. Perry, like many of us, has had to deal with pain and loss associated with cancer in his own family and feels that any vaccine that can prevent cancer should be mandatory (and he's probably getting a kickback from the pharmaceutical company).

You have to understand that one of the strongest arguments that the abstinence-only nutcases have been able to throw around in support of their stance against teaching young people how to reduce their chances of getting an STD by using a condom or engaging in non-penetrative sex has been that HPV can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact and causes cervical cancer - Sex outside of marriage will give you cancer and you will die. So, you can imagine how upset that they have become that their strongest argument can't hold water with the introduction of the HPV vaccine. It's been no surprise that they started screaming about how this vaccine would promote teen sex just as they did when emergency contraception was on the table to be made available over the counter (again, more on this later).

It's disgusting that anyone would think that it would be worse to prevent 99% of the cases of a particular cancer than have premarital sex. By the way, 95% of Americans report having premarital sex; this is the norm! I thought that things had gotten really bad until a certain Robert Morrow, a self-proclaimed grassroots activist here in Austin, took the stand at the State House earlier this week. He began his testimony by presenting an argument defending parents' rights and limiting government interference. Okay, maybe, but what about requiring other types of vaccinations? Plus this vaccine could PREVENT CANCER and save millions (billions?) in future health care. He then stated (this is for real, y'all!) that "the State of Texas should not be in the business of preventive healthcare for teenage sluts." Yes, he did. Sadly (or fortunately), he has completely exposed the entire religious right's, abstinence-only supporting beliefs on teen sex (and any premarital sex). If you get a disease, you deserve it.

Teenage girls who engage in sexual activity deserve to get cancer and die. Oh yeah, and AIDS. Fuck you, asshole.